WAYANG

I realised that we don't need to wait till the Hungry Ghost Festival every year to see wayangs...

We get to see them everyday...

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Scene 1
Human nature abhors work... so to avoid being arrowed more work to do, we begin to act busy in front of the computers...

That's WAYANG...

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Scene 2
Humans are basically lemmings... it's difficult and is often futile to go against the current... there are many different sub-currents in the society... some strong, some not so strong, some currents were there all these while but nobody questions why they are there or are still valid, some currents seems strong and never ceasing and humans have decided to stop going against it since who knows when and the stupid thing is that the current might have ceased but humans still think that it hasn't and therefore don't have the courage to go back upstream...

And in order not to look stupid or offensive going upstream, we WAYANG...

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Scene 3
Sometimes it's funny how humans are not allowed to be happy...

In a work place, when u were allocated lesser work to do, it's sometimes not advisable to show too much happiness because some people may become envious and get offended, and in time to come, u'll be arrowed more work to do... especially work that others do not wish to do...

In personal lives, we sometimes wish to pursue things that we are happy doing for the rest of our lives... but if that's not what the others perceive as alright, they'll make a great hoo-ha over it until u succumb to their craziness...

When the human resolution is not strong enough, we WAYANG our way through just so as to gain some peace of mind (which the others will claim that u gained the peace because you've done the right thing by conforming to common belief)

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Scene 4
This will be a definite paradox...

Sometimes, we are also not allowed to display dissatisfaction, displeasure, suffering, pain or hurt... We will not be seen as 'right' because the others sometimes are not too receptive to us showing such feelings because they too are going through some form of dissatisfaction, displeasure, suffering, pain or hurt... So how could we be released from dissatisfaction, displeasure, suffering, pain or hurt when they are not...

So we learn to WAYANG and appear quite satisfied, pleased, not displaying any suffering, pain or hurt...

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Scene 4
It's interesting how, in the name of Accountability and Professionalism, which are highly regarded in order to portray good intentions and cooperativeness and to appear to be task-focused, we begin to do acts that we grumble over, but yet end up doing...

When we realised that we are rewarded for performing such tasks which we don't quite believe in, we begin to believe that maybe what we were asked to do were worth doing...

That's the final and complete transition into WAYANGism...

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Maybe that's the way it will be... maybe that's the way it should be in order to appear normal in our society... It's normal to wayang... and whoever does it well, gets on well...

It's not easy to tell if it's a good or bad thing to do, because reality is definitely perceived by the 'filters' that we are brought up to carry in our heads... maybe that's the reason we humans PERCEIVE ourselves to be superior beings because we are able to PERCEIVE a certain kind of reality that we choose to PERCEIVE...

Perception vs Deception... such a bloody fine line...

Had Fun?!?!

First working day after an eventful week... Such were some conversations exchanged...

Character A : So did you had fun?

Character B : So did you have a relaxing time?

Character C : Oh, it doesn't sound that bad...

Character D : Welcome back to the real world...

Chocoindryice : ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

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I guess that's human nature... personal problems and sufferings will always be worse than others'... when someone says how bad their situation is, it's not unusual to respond by saying "I've seen worse"...

How meek can humans be when we tend to feel that the world revolves around oneself...

Perhaps my photos didn't do justice to the sights and experiences we went through in Ban Nam Kem... Perhaps I've hid the sufferings underneath each of the faces... Perhaps I need to show more...

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Yan Yao Temple

This temple in Ban Nam Kem became the centre of media attention during the peak of the Tsunami. This very ground we stood on laid up to 6000 dead and decomposed bodies waiting to be recognised via DNA testings. The stench from the dead bodies were so bad that it could even be smelt from 800 m away... 60 cm of the ground was removed and replaced after all the bodies were removed as the Thais wanted to 'restore' the purity of the temple ground.

Fun? I was almost in tears...

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Containers at Bang Man Ruan

Within these containers, housed 404 unclaimed and unidentified bodies. They are kept at -10 degree celcius. The total dead bodies unclaimed from here, Phuket and Krabi amount to 2255 as of 24th Aug 2005. It's been 8 months, and bodies are left unclaimed...

Fun? I was almost in tears...

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Blue Boat in Ban Nam Kem

This blue boat has become somewhat a tourist attraction since 26th Dec 2004. This very spot is 1 km away from the coast!!! The depth of water required for bouancy is 3-5 metres. This is 1 km away from the coast... I don't need to further explain how much water rushed up shore to Ban Nam Kem...

Fun? Try telling this to the owner who was on the rooftop taking cover when this blue boat came to a halt just centimetres away from his house...

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Pai San, our beloved driver

Pai San was our "Soong tell" driver. Very friendly and fatherly figure. We got to know that he lost both his children (10 yr old son, and 18 yr old daughter) in the Tsunami. And he was driving us all around this trip learning more about the Tsunami. It might have opened up his wounds again, visiting these places...

On our way back to Phuket on Day 4, he stopped by his house. He went in and brought some photos out to show us. They were photos of his children when they were younger. And then he showed us a few printouts on A4 size papers. They were the pictures of the decomposed bodies of his two children when he went to claim their bodies...

I was in tears... I had to put on my shades to hide my tears...

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How do I express my emotions and feelings? Do photos do enough justice to the sufferings? Maybe, to some extent... But what you do not see, you do not feel...

I am truly humbled...

Zero Sum Game Part III

Came back from the Project Hope Spirit & Renewal at Khao Lak, Thailand yesterday.

What a trip...

Realised the magnitude of the destruction...

Saw the faces behind the disaster...

Learnt that the rebuilding of HARDware is the easy part... rebuilding of HEARTware is the difficult part...

I might have found the purpose of my being...

I might have found the reasons why I was 'sent' on this trip:
- to gain experience in conducting a Service Learning trip,
- to learn the importance of sustaining a humanitarian project,

Ironically, it's yet another zero-sum game, I realise... Khao Lak would not have received so much help in terms of financial, logistics and infra-structure, had it not have lost everything from the Tsunami...

In some weird way, I have lost something close to my heart, albeit gaining so much from the trip...

Maybe that's the way the maker of life wants it to be... maybe it's just meant to be...

(photo galleries of Proj HSR is at http://www.pbase.com/jiawang/proj_hsr )

Akan Datang

Welcome to the club, Master Kungfu Hamster said to me last week...

Welcome to the 'poor man's' club, CH my uni buddy said to me last night...

Well well well... and so I did... subjecting myself to slavery for the next 7 years...

Well, to prepare myself for a SWIFT arrival, I civically signed up for a driving refresher course, so that my 10 years of wheel-lessness doesn't make me a target for abuse by road users such as MadCat... kekek...

Well, lesson one went well today... covered lots of lost ground... Ubi, Hougang, TPE, PIE, Changi Airport, ECP, Eunos, Woodlands, Mandai, BKE... Realised I didn't lose much of touch... Cruising was smooth, overtaking was civilised, changing lane was sleek, U-turn was quite ok... Generally, I thought I was quite a un-intimidating driver...

Well, I was quite tired today, so I almost dozed off while driving along stretches of the light traffic expressways... But everything was under control... no need for alarm...

Well done, I thought... 10 years of inactivity, and I didn't cause any damage on the roads... not bad... Tomorrow will be the challenging final lesson... PARKING!!! But steady poon pee pee... I think I can pick it up again real fast... No sweat... And furthermore, my Swift is petite... any slots lobang hole gaps oso can go in one... No fear...

Well well well... if things goes well, by end September, I shall have to cut down on my photography gear acquisitions, and sob sob, moderate my travelling ambitions too...

Welcome to the Club...

Deja Vu?

A Conversation in my Medical Centre some 12 years ago...

Senior Medic: Choco is new, inexperienced, and I don't really like him... Send him to the battery line and be a battery medic. HQ got enough medics already...

My Helpful Senior: But Choco is very hardworking. He is genuinely serious about his duties and is proficient in medical knowledge. I think he should stay in HQ.

Dr Barry, my Medical Officer: Choco can assist me. He's good. Let him stay in HQ.

Senior Medic: ....... ....... ....... Hmmm (sneering and thinking)... Then I'll give him a hard time in HQ...

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Index

- Senior Medic => a regular soldier medic who is trained in military medicine. The only regular soldier in every medical centre. Usually bossy in nature and not well-liked.

- Battery => a group of artillery gunners in a battalion. The equivalent of a platoon in an infantry unit.

- HQ medic => a medic who is deployed in the headquarters of the battalion. He'll work very closely with the Medical Officer and other HQ medics to perform more sophisticated field medical treatment or operations and are usually better in skills and knowledge.

- Medical Officer => the highest ranking NSF in the SAF. Usually does not have a good working relationship with Senior Medics simply because he is not a regular.

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Strangely, I wonder if I'm beginning to have a feeling of Deja Vu...

: (

Pooh Up My Car?

Went for dinner with Master Bioarmour this evening... Saw an orange Nissan March decorated in the theme of Winnie the Pooh... Pooh seat covers, Pooh toys, Pooh figurines, Pooh stickers, Pooh tissue box covers, Pooh steering wheel cover, Pooh pillows, Pooh Pooh Pooh Pooh Pooh Pooh...

We can't help but be impressed with the level of details and care that went into the thematic approach of the owner...

Began to imagine how I should do up my car (if things goes well)... It's gonna be a red car... So here's some themes that I could consider:
(i) Manchester United theme
(ii) Red Lions theme
(iii) Christiano Ronaldo theme (he drove the car and played soccer with the Swift, remember?)
(iv) Singapore theme
(v) Ang Pow theme
(vi) Firecracker theme
(vii) National Day theme

Or should I just keep it simple, and strap a soft-toy hamster at my rear-seat? LOL =p

Or maybe I might just not buy a car afterall...

Too Dedicated

These are the funny characters in Master Choco's class... First year with most of them... Not too bad rapport, considering I've never taught most of them before...

Really hope they'd excel and apply themselves well for their upcoming challenges... My heart is with them all... Gambatte!!!

I'm a Painter...

I've finally completely understood that a true photographer must be an artist too... And a painter at that...

My 3 outings to shoot the Singapore Fireworks Festival have brought me up to another level in my passion... I've gained enough control over my equipment to the point where I do not need to think too much about the camera settings anymore...

I've began to focus on what to capture, rather than how to capture a shot.

It's a powerful realisation as far as my progress in photography is concerned. Usually, photographs are made in a fraction of a second. It's so instantaneous and quick that it's very easy to forget how a shot is captured.

Regardless of film or digital photography, it's all about recording light onto the film or sensor. We don't normally need to expose a shot for more than a second. And that's the reason why many casual shooters don't spend much thought over what to capture.

And how has the fireworks outings made me realise that I'm a painter?

I used to press the shutter release continuously over the span of the fireworks display. My rationale was that as long as I don't miss any part of the display, I'll definitely get some shots which will turn out right... And I usually do have a few shots which are decent.

This time round, I've stopped shooting this way. I realised that I usually have to expose my frame for an average of 6 seconds to capture the full burst of the fireworks... This is a very long period of time where a lot of things can go wrong... The shot could be overexposed, underexposed, or just simply, look outright messy...

I realised that I actually have the complete control over what to expose in my frame. I now open the shutter manually and block out the light entering the lens using a cardboard. I'll only remove the cardboard to capture the explosions that I want to record. I realised that it is an art by itself of when to open up my frame to expose the explosions.

Timing is critical... asthetic judgement is critical... patience is critical... calmness is critical...

The percentage of usable shots for my fireworks has now increased a lot.

It's about knowing what I want to capture, and not about thinking I have to get it captured...

It's a very powerful realisation...

It's in fact a freedom that I've gained...

A paradox again, because I gained this freedom from having good control over my equipment and self...

The Fight 2... Or was there ever a Fight?

Hamster and Doggie were scheduled for a round of fight. Hefty registration fees were paid and lucrative prizes were in store for the winner...

The competent boxers were prepared for a good fight and the date was all set and the boxing ring was booked and the referees were selected and trained and the bell ringer was picked and the drink sellers were on standby and announcer has practised his lines and the media was informed and basically, the hype was there for a good fight...

But close to the day of fight, they realised that Doggie doesn't fullfil some of the rules of the match... He doesn't have the brand of gloves that was a pre-requisite to fight... Also, Doggie has a habit of fighting naked (as is all dogs) and was therefore scorned by the organisers, who incidentally from time to time, praised the way Hamster carried himself in his behaviours and turn-out in the ring. And incidentally too, the brand of gloves was solely distributed by members in the organising committee and their sole customer incidentally yet again, was Hamster...

Hence, there's no fight...

Hence, the referees, bell ringer, drink sellers, announcer and the media basically have the scheduled day free to themselves again, to their relief...

Hence, Doggie was left in dismay...

Hence, Doggie felt that he was dealt with another blow under his belt... Which was ironic btw, as he fights naked anyway...

The Fight

I think I'm gonna get myself into trouble with some book publishers soon...

But I can't help it... I read another rather thought-provoking paragraph from The Zahir...

"While I was fighting, I heard other people speaking in the name of freedom, and the more they defended this unique right, the more enslaved they seemed to be to their parents' wishes, to a marriage in which they had promised to stay with the other person 'for the rest of their lives', to the bathroom scales, to their diet, to half-finished projects, to lovers to whom they were incapable of saying "No' or 'It's over', to weekends when they were obliged to have lunch with people they didn't even like. Slaves to luxury, to the appearance of luxury, to the appearance of the appearance of luxury (my note: no typo error here). Slaves to a life they had not chosen, but which they had decided to live because someone had managed to convince them that it was all for the best. And so their identical days and nights passed, days and nights in which adventure was just a word in a book or an image on the television that was always on, and whenever a door opened, they would say: "I'm not interested. I'm not in the mood."

How could they possibly know if they were in the mood or not if they had never tried? But there was no point in asking; the truth was that they were afraid of any change that would upset the world they had grown used to."

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Don't know how it'll fit into the rest of the story in the book yet (remember I'm devouring this rather slowly?), but I love the way Paulo Coelho challenged my thinking again...

Zero Sum Game Part II

Conversation
Master: You missed your deadline again!!!

Slave: Ermm... Yah... Sorry...

Master: Don't you ever prioritise? You weakling?

Slave: I tried, Master... I really tried... but...

Master: Not good enough... You deserved to be slaughtered...

Slave: (Thinking to himself) I really priortised... It's just that the task you asked me to do wasn't on the top of my list.. that's all...

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It's funny... time is a limited commodity... can't have any more of it... yet in our daily lives, we pack it with all sorts of activities... You spend more time on A, you'll do less for B... You priortise your time for C, you get reprimanded by D for not priortising...

Today I priortise my time for X... but chances are, I may be barking up the wrong tree and lose the opportunity to serve Y... X will go on and do well in life even without me priortising my time towards X, but at the same time, I have to start all over from scratch...

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Funny thoughts... just from reading the first few pages of a new book I bought...

"The Zahir" by my favourite author, Paulo Coelho...

There's an excerpt which he quoted from another book at the preface of this book... I find it very thought provoking... Here goes...

ITHACA
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotions touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine Cavafy (1863 - 1933)

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What is my Ithaca? Where is my Ithaca? Am I already on my way to Ithaca? I really hope I do, even though I feel I am not... Perhaps I've met with the Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon... I mustn't fear them... But who are the Lestrygonians and the Cyclops, the fierce Poseidon around me? Someone close? Someone distant? How do I tell?

Am I held back from reaching Ithaca? Or worse still, am I holding someone back from reaching their Ithaca?

Very interesting book... though I don't think I have the time to keep reading this book, I think I'll make it a point to pause reading my other 'in-progress' books and devour this one properly...

I often gain lots of insights from Paolo Coelho's books... He surprises me with lots of alternative perspectives of life... Very thought provoking...

Indeed thought-provoking...

Everything in its Time

(Red)Lions are falling out of the sky...

(Matrix)Hamster is throwing colourful funpacks at kids...

(Mad)Cat and (Matrix)Hamster have become gardeners...

Cartwheeler has started speaking in undecipherable codes...

JJB has bought a share of our lousy transport company and has now obediently tapping his easilink card in his vain attempt to increase market value of his shares...

There are actually people who's interested in running for Presidency...

Unsual things are happening...

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And I am actually preparing myself, rather unusually, to buy a new car...

I was doing my sums this afternoon... I looked at all my assets and expenditures over the last few years... My guitars, amplifier, sound system, iMac, laptops, my photography gear, and all my travel expenditures... The sum of these all could have paid in full for the car I'm planning to get...

I was thinking if I hadn't spent so much on my hobbies and passion, I would have bought a car long ago...

But then again, if I hadn't spent so much time on my hobbies and passion, I wouldn't be the person I am right now... a car wouldn't have made me the person I am right now... it's my passions that made me grow and evolve... the car will be coming anyway, but I took the time (and money) to grow myself... which on hindsight, was so necessary...

My 6-string Babies

Been neglecting my babies for some time now...

From top down, left to right...
(i) Taylor 714 - sleek and smooth playability... beautiful sweet and mellow ringing tone... lovely, but haven't been playing it since Cantabile in early June... strings are old and rusty... still lying under an invaded and acquired territory in my office... gotta bring it home soon... This baby sorely lacks playing...

(ii) Epiphone Sheraton II - double humbucker electric... I find this a la Gibson factory made guitar's tone too warm and muffled. Same Gibson factory, supposedly same specs... but what u pay is what u get... Hmmm... If I can find the time to playing guitar regualarly again, I might consider brining this baby down to Davis Guitars to change the humbuckers to Gibson's...

(iii) Simon & Patrick Mahagony - My rough and tough dreadnaught... Didn't like it initially when I bought it because the action was too high... But since I sent it for action adjustment by Steven of the Guitar Hospital at Sinamex, the tone and playability is nice... But the strings are darn rusty... About time to change...

(iv) Yamaha CG151C - Cedar solid top classical... My skills improved after I bought this guitar because it was more responsive and allowed me to improve my technique... Haven't been playing classical seriously for almost 7 years... the tone of this petite guitar is a little lost. Can't hear the vibrance anymore... but still a keeper...

Theory of Relativity

A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water go mad.

The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, and which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drunk the poisoned water and they thought the king's decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them.

When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. They marched on the castle and called for his abdication.

In despair, the king prepared to step down from the throne, but the queen stopped him, saying: "Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then, we will be the same as them."

And that was what they did: the king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately bagan to talk nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country?

The country continued to live in peace, although its inhabitants behaved very differently from those of its neighbours. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days.

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I now feel like the king... But I do not wish to drink the poison water still...

Opening The Sky

Conversation 1
10 yr old ME : Why are there clouds in the sky?

My Very Intelligent Uncle : They're there to block the outer space from view.

10 yr old ME : ... ... ... ... ... ... ...


Conversation 2
23 yr old ME: The universe is so vast... There's so much out there that we can't possibly visualise and explain... Mother Nature is amazing... Humans are so minute...

A helpful Friend: That's where religion comes in...

23 yr old ME: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Conversation 3
16 yr old kid : Master Choco... What's beyond our atmosphere? You mean there's something outside Earth?

Master Choco: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...



When I was much younger, when I was in Pri 4 or so, I started to read about how small cells are in living bodies... that there are planets revolving around the sun, that Earth might be the only planet that has life forms... that there is boundless space beyond the solar system that we can't even see...

And I began to wonder if Earth is just a small cell in a massive living body... I began to wonder if this boundless space is like the blood stream of another bigger body... flowing and moving about... And maybe this bigger body is yet also part of another even larger body...

So I've already developed this concept of space and relativeness at a very young age...

I liked the movie Contact and the ending of MIB... after the credits of MIB, the scene was a shot with the camera zooming out from Earth and all the way accelerating in the zooming out speed till it came to a scene of some aliens playing marbles... Earth was somewhere inside this marble...

I liked the idea that humans are still way too small to even know the real 'truth'... When I was younger, nobody around me was thinking about such things, so I thought I was crazy. But as I grew older, and packed my brains with more stuff, I realised I'm not alone in such thoughts...

My life view (which is potentially highly debatable) is that we humans are still too minute to understand the universe we are part of... But being humans, we cannot live with too much uncertainties and vagueness... Hence, come philosophies and religions... They play a major role in the development of human civilsation, and the world we see today justifies this role...

But we must also realise that history was written by victors of wars and conflicts... What we are taught and told that are the absolute truth today, are what the victors want us to know... For whatever reasons histories were written the way they were written, it is not at all difficult to understand why too... Whoever was in charged needed the people to obey and be controlled... Truths had to be made to suit the needs of the ruler... In the hands of rulers who needed to change history to stay in power, history was then re-written... in other words, it's propaganda...

I know what I suggest may not go down well with many people, but I feel that many 'absolute truths' that people are propagating in the world today are open to interpretations... It's human interpretations of so called 'truths'...

I do not deny that there are lots of good things that we should value in many teachings in life, simply because that's the social norm and are widely accepted... What I detest is when I see people/ organisations propagating some 'truths' for the sake of keeping the whole package of 'truths'... in other words, they can't explain why some 'truths' were thought to be so... But because they've whole-heartedly accept the whole package, everything that comes within the packaging, good or questionable, is accepted...

I shot the above photo during the fireworks show... If we could just open up the sky with the beam of lights, what' would we see? We need a filter in our mind to make sense out of the many things that don't make sense of in life... But are we prepared to see what we have yet to see? What would we see, if skies could be opened?

Nurtured Creativity???

What way to burn my Sunday...

Spent a good 7 hours at Queensway SCDF (S'pore Civil Defence Force) learning Emergency Procedures, Fire Precautions,Evacuation techniques, Chemical threats, Bomb shelters etc...

Was there because of the Thailand CIP, Project Hope, Spirit & Renewal... a humanitarian project for the Tsunami affected Khao Lak... this course was aimed at preparing all the volunteers from CBSS & HCI for any emergencies that might occur in Khao Lak (touch wood)...

Anyway, it's the first time I attend lectures with my kids... what a noisy and restless bunch they were... never ceased to take advantage of the lack of C & C skills of the poor CD officers to talk or chit chat or scribble on papers...



These two artpieces were done by the talented Nicolette... She has the wonderful ability to be very focused in her artwork despite the irritation from the lecturer... The drawings about sumed up our day there... I take my hats off to her... Makes me wonder if her 'creative talent' was nurtured by the boring lessons she takes in school...

Zero Sum Game

Singapore Fireworks Festival 2005 - Team Portugal

6th August Saturday...

I felt so much control over my camera settings and shot timing this time round... Perhaps it's to make up for my inability to control other matters in my life...

My positioning on the Sheares Bridge was spot on... Perhaps it's to make up for my missed opportunities in my life...

The weather and wind was perfect for shooting fireworks... Perhaps it's to make up for calamities that might be brewing elsewhere...

My iPod was playing all my memorable and familiar tunes while I was shooting the fireworks... Perhaps it's to make up for my solitude which was hollowing out...

I was even smiling and enjoying every moment of the fireworks... Perhaps it's to make up for the pain and suffering that's happening elsewhere in the world...

There were lots of photographers and spectators crowding beside me, keeping me company... Perhaps it's to make up for my lone ranger mentality again...

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There's two ways to take a photograph... The first is 'just shoot'... The second is 'shoot with your heart'...

Fireworks have always been special for me... I could have approached this shoot with a very technical mindset... focus on the camera settings... do the right things... fire away...

I might have been shooting this way for my past fireworks shots... I never got much satisfaction because I realised that I focused so much on the technicalities that I failed to enjoy the fireworks...

I shot with my heart today... I got myself into the mood... into the moment... And I felt so much control over every shot... I no longer get tied up over counting how many seconds I'm exposing my frame... I was completely detached from my camera throughout the shoot...

I allowed myself to enjoy and savour every explosion... and at the same time, my thumb was able to depress the shutter release cable whenever the explosions were at it's most beautiful... My actions were in sync with my eyes and heart... My camera has finally become an extension of my heart and mind, freezing images that my heart and mind saw...

Such joy...

Shouldn't life be lived as such? Our actions in tune with our heart and soul... Living a life as we want it to be...

Ran Out of Anti-Biotics

I'm out of anti-biotics... I finished my 5-day course of ampicillins today... But my cough, yellow phlegms, running nose, headache and sore throat are still happily active in my body...

Arghhhh... The stupid virus has emerged victorious against the weak and helpless anti-biotics... And it won the battle in quite some style, I must admit, mocking all the Vitamin C that I've been consuming the past few weeks all in one go...

So irritating... I'm officially helpless against the virus now... It's now a face-on battle... No more armour to hide behind... No more reinforcement to back me up... It's me against the virus... Whatever that may be... Whatever that may be called... It's an irritating virus which refuses to leave my body...

I consider this attack by this particular virus a low-class one which dealt me a blow under the belt... It attacked me when I was at my most vulnerable (stress, lack of sleep, lousy weather, confusion, all messed into one)... How despicable!!! And now it still refuses to leave me even as I'm coughing my lungs out...

Perhaps this virus has no where else to go... Perhaps viruses are living organisms that have long life-spans... It doesn't just disappear as one recovers... It just finds another body to infiltrate... Perhaps this virus currently residing in me still hasn't found another vulnerable being to attack...

And so it is... I shall give this virus a hand... I shall hunt for the next vulnerable victim and transplant my virus to this next body... Hmmmm... Who shall be the lucky one??? Ngiak ngiak ngiak...