Safe Santuary For My Heart

Tis was a rainy afternoon...

Technically not a fantastic day to do any photoshoot outdoors...

But still took a long drive back to NTU... Not sure what exactly was the reason... But the thought just came into my head, and I just felt like a homing missile... No explanations were needed...
Chinese Heritage Centre

Hall 4

Hall 4

Hall 4

Returning to NTU is always a very heart-warming experience... 3 years of my youth was spent here... 3 great years...

Much of my life's vision and principles took root and were shaped here... It's not just a place where a degree was earned... It's way more than that for me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hall 4 & Nanyang Lake
Nanyang Lake has a special place in my heart... I remembered in Year 1, one fine night, a few of us freshies were invited to our seniors' room for a birthday celebration... It was loud, rowdy and good clean fun... But never at the back of our minds did we realise that straight after the singing of the usual songs and blowing of candles and blah blah blah, the common ritual in Hall 4 Block 24/25 was to dunk the birthday boy/girl into the famous Nanyang Lake... That night, the few of us freshies received the block initiation of sorts... We were dunked into the lake together with the birthday boy...

Of all the fun we had at Nanyang Lake, I'll never forget the incident at the beginning of my 3rd year...
Hall 1 Tree
It was the 2nd day of the Orientation Camp for Freshies... We did something no one in the Hall had done before... We constructed our own Flying Fox across the Nanyang Lake...

I was the Ex-Officio for the camp... Just wanted to be sure that the obstacle course could work before any freshies went onto it... So up I went...

And straight down I came...

It was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life... Crashing straight into the green metal railings by the side of the road, instead of "Flying" across the Nanyang Lake...

Looking across the lake today, I could still recall the accident very vividly...
"I curled up my legs... up to my chest... my shins hit the railings... my glasses flew out of my face... pain... great pain... my body was tensed... tensed up in hope of making the pain less hurting... and the pain did go away after a while... only to be taken over by numbness... my lower body turned numb... my friends came... shouting my name... footsteps... running footsteps coming closer to me as I stayed motionless... I was unhooked from the safety line... my friends didn't want me to look at my wounds... without my glasses, I only saw a patch of white over on my two shins... thought it was just superficial cuts... was sent to the NUH... realised that the skin on my two shins were torn apart due to the impact... the white I saw were the bones of my shins..."

Looking back, the accident changed the way I looked at life... things could have turned out nastier... apart from the open wound, no fractures...

Great lesson learnt... take risks, but don't take your life... Life's short... listen to your heart and do what you believe in...

The most beautiful thing that happened from this incident was that it further affirmed the kind of friendships and bonds I had with my Hall 4 pals... Throughout the entire afternoon I was in NTU today, lots of images filled my head... all the late night suppers, block suppers, chit chat sessions, playing-guitar-in-corridor sessions, JCRC meetings, prank calls to disturb upstairs girls, water fights, unhappy security guards, flip-flapping sounds of slippers along corridors, roof-top gatherings, lantern festivals, mooncake festivals, darts training, CNY steamboat re-unions, Mao Mao, feeding Mao Mao, catching Mao Mao, rescuing Mao Mao, searching for Mao Mao, talking to Mao Mao...
Block 25

Seems like I spent more of my time having fun than studying...

But all those, ironically, shape the minds of undergraduates... And that, is truly what Education is all about...

Many of my social skills were learnt during these 3 years... Networks were formed, visions of our future were formed, values were incalcated as well...

85% of my 3 years unversity life was spent in the Hall... happenings about a decade ago still stays in my mind even as I drove around in NTU today... I get this feeling everytime I return to NTU... I thought they'd fade away as time goes by... But it doesn't...

In fact, whenever I'm back in NTU, I felt safe... Safe because I feel like I'm shielded from the fast-paced world out there... Feels almost like returning to a mother's womb... where precious nutrients were received before we went out to the society to contribute whatever we could...

But more often than not, the world out there is quite unforgivingly harsh... and sometimes we forget why we exist...

Today, I was reminded of my purpose in life again... the lessons and experience right here in NTU were the beginning of my journey of contributing to the society... and at this point in my career, it's a timely reminder...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remembered the night when I packed my last bag out of my Block 25 room after my final exams, walking along the corridor, away from Hall 4... I was crying...

Today, driving away from NTU,I felt a little uneasy again... I felt like going out into the wild safari...

But I felt recharged... my heart is warm again... It's such a wonderful feeling knowing that there's this safe santuary out there in the far west that I can always come back to to recharge my soul...

The buildings and surroundings in NTU have changed drastically... but these aren't the only things that warms one's heart... It's the people whom I have the honour to know and live with for 3 years in our lives that completes the beautiful picture...

Hey Hall 4 guys and gals... it's been some time since we last 'da you' liao right? It's also a long long time ago since we last heard our Block Song too right? How about coming back to NTU for our next gathering? Bring your kids back too... show them where their daddy and mummy had all the fun...

Too bad we don't have a recording of our Block Song... so the second best option is to read the lyrics and sing it in our hearts...

Cougar's Roar...
"Solidarity Forever (x3)
For Block C Never Die.

Block C in Hall 4 is the finest in the land,
Even though we may look like a sleazy drunken band,
But if you ask us nicely we might jump in without fear,
We'll help you drink your BEER!!!
(Give that man a TIGER!!!)

Solidary Forever (x3)
For Block C is the Best.

We'll scratch (*ape) your women,
Scratch (*ape) you men,
And then we'll bong your cat,
Then we'll burn you block down while we finish up you BEER,
For never will you find a Block so divinely Blessed,
For Block C is the Best!!!

Solidary Forever (x3)
For Block C is the Best Best Best!!!"

A Special Island...

Spent an afternoon last Friday, treading on paths which I was so very familiar with... Went back with these group of youths...


A bunch of lively and cheerful lot of youths, they are... Full of laughters throughout the trek...

We were there to familiarise ourselves with the planned route on which we will be bringing the rest of our NPCC unit to in a couple of weeks time...

And so we treaded on paths...


And along the way, looked at all things small and micro and beautiful...



Well some were a little creepy...


The job was done after 3 hours of trekking... And how could we resist taking a shot before we leave...


Back to the jetty, to catch a bumboat...



Back home... but we'll be back again...


Soon...

I Am a Philosopher? No Wonder...

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Philosophy 100% Engineering 100% Mathematics 92% Psychology 83% Sociology 83% Theater 67% English 67% Linguistics 67% Anthropology 67% Dance 58% Journalism 58% Biology 42% Art 25% Chemistry 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!) created with QuizFarm.com

I'm a Mazda Miata!

You like to soak up the sun, but your tastes are down to earth. Everyone thinks you're cute. Life is a winding road, and you like to take the curves in stride. Let other people compete in the rat race - you're just here to enjoy the ride.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Farewell my 司马光

司马光 was playing with his friends one day and one of his friends fell into a large tank filled with water accidentally. As the tank was taller than all the children, no one was able to rescue the kid who fell into it.

Just when many of the kids were panicking, 司马光 had the composure and calmness and wit to figure out a way to rescue his friend.

He picked a large rock in the bushes, and smashed the tank on its side. The water flowed out and the kid who almost drowned was saved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This famous story of 司马光 was in my chinese moral education book when I was in primary school. It taught all young children the values of bravery, resourcefulness and courage.

If one were to do search on the internet for 司马光, he'd find that 司马光 was a very learned and witty scholar who served as an important government official when he grew up. He is synonymous with justice, courage and great intellect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





This name, 司马光, meant much more to me... My youngest uncle's (arguably my favourite and most respected one) nickname is 司马光... He has just passed away on 3 May 2006...






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This nickname, 司马光, was given to him by his relatives and friends when he was a little boy. It's most appropriate as he was the smartest kids in the village back in Lorong Ah Soo. He was boy whose wittiness and resourcefulness surpassed that of many others of his age. He'd think of ways of doing things differently from the others.

He's just 13 years older than me... My parents are the eldest in their family, and they got married in their mid-twenties... After I was born, it'd be another 10 years before I had any cousins around me as all my uncles and aunties were much younger than my parents.

So I spent my childhood playing with adults and had no other children, apart from my younger sister, around me...

Over the years, I've learnt a great deal from uncle 司马光... ... ...

- he was a basketball player in his younger days... I remember watching him play in the community centre he represented... and I played basketball because of that...

- he was the person who introduced photography to me... If not for him, I'd never known that I had the ability to 'see' through the lens... I've never quite understood the nitty gritty of aperture and shutter speed back then... but I knew I had the ability to see a good composition...

- he was the one who introduced classical music to me... 梁祝 was the tune that I heard... till now, it is still the most hauntingly beautiful chinese classical tune that I've ever heard...

- he is the living example of what "lifelong learning" is all about. He doesn't have any fantastic qualifications to boast about. All my uncles and aunties merely completed their secondary education due to their poor family background. Uncle 司马光 went on to get a vocational certificate for air-con maintenance and he set up his own air-con maintenance business after a few years of experience. He realised after a while that he needed to keep up with times and keep his business records computerised. And he went on to learn how to assemble a computer and learnt how to use softwares such as Excel, File Maker Pro and even Auto Cad... He told me that it was necessary in today's context, and even though he didn't pick all these skills up in school, it didn't matter to him...

- Regardless of how tired he is from his long physical working hours, he'd devote his weekends with his family... He'd bring his wife and kids out for short trips and they'll often go visiting my mum and my other uncle and auntie... I always look forward to them coming over to my place because my cousins are a bundle of joy and it's also the time where I'll share with him some of the things that I've done... And from him, I've come to learn the importance of family bonding...

- he's the first 'boss' that I worked for... during my school holidays when I was in secondary school, I'd tag along with him all over to repair and maintain air-conditions... It was enjoyable and much of my aptitude towards DIY hands-on repair work that I have with me now was due to such kind of exposures...

The list will go on... ... ... ... ... I owe a large part of who I am today to him... I found a lot of answers from him when I was still young and inquisitive as I didn't have any other senior peers around me then...

And I always feel very gratified of the role he plays in my life... He'll be the first person in my family whom I'll show my photographs to... He brought me along for a firework display in the 80s... He showed me how to shoot fireworks... And when I finally was able to do so myself a couple of years ago on my digital camera, he was the first one I showed my results to...

He'd always be very keen to know some of the things that I did... trekking to Nepal, my overseas photograhy trips, my sky diving etc... I could sense that if he was young again, he'd want to do the same too...

After my graduation from NTU, he brought his family along to NTU and I showed them around the beautiful campus where I finished my university education... on the surface, it looked like any family outing... but deep down, it represented his believe in life-long education... I hope my cousins who were little then, understood and appreciates what he had done...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What pulled my heartstrings most recently has been the fact that even though he fell victim to a horrible cancer of the liver, I still am learning from him every minute of his final moments...

I've come to realise how swift and voracious the liver cancer can take one's life... Everything happened within exactly one month - from the first real visible symptom of the disease, to the final deterioration of the entire body... It was extremly painful to watch him in his last days...

Despite suffering in excrutiating pain, uncle 司马光 still manage some humour whenever we visit him in the hospital... I could tell it's a struggle to even stay awake, but he made the effort...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the moment I got to know that it was the advanced stage of the liver cancer, I was in a state of disbelieve for a while... I fought back my tears on numerous occassions... I told myself that no one will see me cry... I felt that this shocking news has rocked my family and I musn't display any signs of break down so that everyone still can move on and come to terms with his illness...

Even at his funeral wake, I suppressed my tears... I told myself I mustn't cry in front of my younger cousins who are still quite young to make too much sense out of it all...

But on the day of his cremation... I could suppress no longer... All the images of my times with him came flooding back... the moment it started, I broke down completely... No way back to suppress my tears anymore... one month of holding back my tears...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm humbled... there's really nothing in this lifetime that's predictable... you either life your life well, or you don't...

On hindsight, I'm really gratified that I've learnt so much from uncle 司马光 all these years...

The thing that I have not come to terms with is that I've not repaid or even thanked him properly... and he'd leave so suddenly...

It has brought new meaning to 'not take anything for granted'... Lessons are learnt about this horrible disease... my entire family will move on becoming more conscious of our health...

And it's also a reminder that I have a similar time bomb ticking in my body now...

Farewell my 司马光... RIP...