Yes I do... am in need of a pilgrimmage of some sort... to search for some answers... to search for some meaning... to search for myself...
Messed up... indeed... lots of loose ends... lots of irony... lots of directionless pursuits... or so it seems...
Not seeking to escape from the agony... but rather, seeking to trace to the source of the knot...
I remembered I felt it once... up in the quiet mountains in Nepal... that feeling of being embraced and without being judged...
Always felt a need to be in Tibet... nevermind how commercialised it has become... it has become more accessible... and at the same time, become less myterious, less unbearing...
But I somehow feel that there's a place in Tibet where I would feel embraced... almost like going back to a place of origin... a place where it all began... a place where it would all end...
Am in need of a pilgrimmage... indeed... perhaps... I already am... on a pilgrimmage called life... there ought to be a reason... why it is as it is... it will probably be a solitary pilgrimmage... for in solitude, there might lie an answer...
Wonder what's evoking such thoughts... could be the mess I see in Taiwan, Thailand, Middle East... could be the death of a passionate crocodile hunter... could be the irritable misunderstanding in the surrounding... could be the constant need to reinvent oneself... could be the frustration of seeing people abandoning ship... could be my disgust at how people can behave for the sake of glory and ambition...
Perhaps it could just be the fact that I'm coughing so much that my abdominal muscles are getting more conditioning without having the need to do a single sit-up...
Perhaps... a pilgrimmage is due... to leave it all behind... to find out where it all began... and how it should end...
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