iWonder

A recent short conversation with a Padawan went something like this:
Me - "Hey, I think as long as you take part in this XYZ activity, you'd still qualify to attain the most prestigious and highest attainable PQR Badge..."

Padawan - "I'm not interested in these attainments and badges anymore... I just want to go through and experience as much activities there are, and learn the most out of all of them... Because at the end of our life, everything will end up in dust..."

That reply shook me...

It really did...

Because it reminded me of how I used to look at life too...

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I remembered during the time of my Jedi training, a fellow trainee asked me what do I aspire to become in my work as a Jedi... And I replied that I'm not sure... I couldn't see very far how good or bad a Jedi I could be, but deep down, I knew that the path of the Jedi is what I want to be... And I knew deep down that this is the path that I should and would tread... I don't quite care if I'd just be a basic Jedi, a Jedi's Jedi, a Jedi of all Jedis or THE JEDI... All I wanted to be was to be a Jedi to train and bring up my Padawans well... What's in a name to the Jedi anyway?

I play the guitar... I learnt it almost all by myself... Having been greatly influenced by the Great Mr A... I read up on music theory, I read on up guitar playing techniques, I listened to lots and lots of guitar music, I watched guitar videos... But I just didn't have the FORMAL training to play the gutar... And most naturally, I do not have any FORMAL QUALIFICATIONS nor CERTIFICATIONS to ascertain my ability to play the guitar... But I enjoyed it thoroughly... Learning to play the guitar opened so much possibilities for me... It gave me my much-lacking self-confidence... It gave me my much-lacking sense of achievement... And most importantly, it gave me the exposure to a wide genre of music... So qualifications/certifications or not, I enjoy what I was doing...

I enjoyed and grew the most during my 3 years university education... Those were the days which shaped so much of my world view and perceptions and thinking... And ironically, the education I received most wasn't from the books... In fact, I did not manage to attain a GOOD DEGREE that we so often see being published in the Classified sections... I remember a good friend asked me after we graduated if I have any regrets for not having spent more time in studying to as to attain the GOOD DEGREE... And I replied that I have no regrets at all, because I learnt so much more lifeskills during my 3 years there...

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And now... iWonder... I wonder if I have lost some of that very pure and purposeful pursuit of my passions... I have a very strong conviction, still, that there's a great difference between "Doing things right" and "Doing the right things"... The former, I feel, is almost always easier... The latter demands moral courage...

Or maybe, I'm just being ignorantly naive...

But recently, I came across a very interesting definition of what a "Mind" is...
"A mind is just a construct of a great many thoughts"

And thoughts are temporal in nature... a state of mind at any cross section in time is but a fleeting moment in the multitude of criss-crossing thoughts... And it's almost always due to all the thoughts that bring us all up and down in our roller-coaster life... And all these attachments of life, which come in the forms of attainments, achievements, ranking, and qualifications, are just part of the temporal construct of our thoughts...

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And I thank this Padawan for reminding me of this... Reminding me that life is to be lived, rather than just a pursuit of achievements or attainments...

No doubt the world we live in usually and generally do not help remind us to LIVE our lives, but I hope I could gain some assurance that such is also the temporal nature of the world we live in too...